I have a confession to make - I’m a scaredy-cat.
Ask me to do something I’ve never done before and I’m going to tell you I can’t do it. I mean I won’t even try it. Not that I don’t like to try new things, but I get intimidated very easily and instead of making myself look like a fool – I’m just going to sit this one out.
That’s just the way I am even though I know deep down I can do it. I just don’t want to.
That was me today when I walked into my friend’s workout class to find I was the only one there.
Fear.
You know that feeling you get in your gut when something bad is about to happen? That was me.
I was in flight mode – so I offered up the idea of just going home and running instead… win-win, right? Wrong.
All I could think was, “what in the world is he going to make me do today?” (fingers crossed and eyes shut pleading) “please no bear crawls, please no bear crawls…”
Then out of the corner of my eye I see him fixing the straps on the gymnastics rings… Ah crap - panic arose as I picked up my jump rope - the rings are way worse than bear crawls.
I don’t know what it is about gymnastic rings, but for some reason they just scare me – I highly dislike them (I would use hate, but I’m not quite there, yet).
And if you know me, you know I’m not quiet about not liking a particular move - I will complain and voice my dislike for it. So, I did.
But what I received in return was, “this is a face your fears workout.”
Of course.
He was going to make me do everything I did not like doing, mainly the rings. And the worst part was there was no place to run and hide because I was the only one in class – so ALL EYES ON ME.
Great.
Here we go – it’s only 35 minutes – I can do this.
Two minutes in my calves were burning and I was struggling for breath. What was going on with me, we just began, and my tank was running out.
Then the weighted jump rope. I laughed – you have got to be kidding me – I just learned how to jump rope the proper way – I can’t do this.
There it was again. Can’t.
“You can,” he kept saying. Which I just responded with a look – I really am trying to be a lot gentler in my speech.
Each time I would swing, it would hit my toes and IT HURT!
“Keep going,” he said. “I will when my toes regain feeling!” I responded.
“You have to do 20 singles before moving on,” he said. “You have to time it,” he said. “Slow down.”
Ugh… fine.
Coordination is not my strong suit. Being left-handed I’m a little clumsy in all I do - sometimes what my brain tells my body to do just doesn’t compute and the way he had me “dancing” around the floor, it wasn’t easy.
But he kept making me do it. Every time I said I can’t, he was there to say you can, slow down, have patience and it’s all about timing until we finally reached the last mountain – the rings…
Deep breath.
As I looked at them hanging there I thought of all the things I could say to get out of this – but deep down I knew it wouldn’t matter because there was no way I was going to get out of it.
“Jump up using your legs and slowly let yourself down with your arms,” he instructed.
All the things I wanted to say out loud I kept inside. I can’t do this.
One, two, three. One, two, three. I was not being intentional with the movements - I just wanted to be done and it didn’t help that he would make me start over every time I stopped.
Twenty hops later – I was finally done and able to stretch – my shoulders on fire.
But I finished every exercise I said I couldn’t do. That’s the thing about fear. It holds us back from reaching our full potential because it makes us think we aren’t good enough or we just shouldn’t try.
It’s funny because I feel like there are always lessons to be learned in Justin’s classes.
This one on fear, patience, slowing down and timing – all four things I just can’t with – but this is about fear, so I’ll go back to those other three later.
Second Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.”
According to the Huffington Post, “fear not” is written 365 times in the Bible. That’s one for every day of the year, coincidence? I think not. God doesn’t do anything by accident. He places us on specific soil for specific purposes and surrounds us with the people we need to push us, encourage us and help build us up to make us strong (Romans 1:11-12).
And He didn’t create us with a spirit of fear because His perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). We can rest knowing He will provide us with everything we need when we need it – we just need to be patient and trust in His perfect timing.
And today, after class I left a little stronger and a little less intimidated knowing I conquered my fear - one trusting - but slowed down act of obedience at a time.
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