Here it is the second week of February and I have nothing to write about.
The funny thing is that when this month started I had major plans for it. My planner was filled with days that said “write” and “post” but that never happened, so I’m bringing you my first post two weeks in.
Being behind has taught me something though.
I need to let go of expectations.
I’ve started to realize that I hold people and things to certain expectations and when those aren’t met, I feel (a) let down or (b) like I’ve failed.
You need to know one thing about me… I take things personal.
If something doesn’t work, I take the blame – I think it’s my fault something didn’t work out the way it should have and I find myself wondering what I did wrong or could have done differently.
And the truth is… I haven’t failed and I’m not behind.
I’m right where I need to be, writing something that I need and maybe you need to hear as well.
So, let’s dive a little deeper into setting expectations, shall we?
The word expect is defined as likely to happen.
Or in other words to anticipate, await, look for, hope for, watch for, look forward to, look ahead to, have in prospect; contemplate, bargain for/on, bank on, be prepared for, plan for; predict, think, believe, imagine… you get the idea.
We hope for, look forward to or believe in something that usually ends in disappointment.
Listen, I’m probably the last person to be telling you to let go of expectations because I expect a lot from people, but I am learning to lower those expectations.
I get my hopes up only to be shot down.
I’m not telling you to not expect things because that wouldn’t be nice. But I am telling you to make sure you are putting your expectations in the right person or things.
It’s like New Year’s Eve, everyone has these high unattainable expectations for how they think the night should go only to end up disappointed and in bed by 9 p.m.
That was me for years.
I would get my hopes up for something that was supposed to be great only to be disappointed in the outcome.
Like setting the expectation to write at least three blog posts a month…well, we know that isn’t happening, but I could surprise you.
But don’t get your hopes up…
I’ve come to realize that the only reason I set my expectations high, is because I am willing to do that much for the other person.
I would only hope they would do the same for me.
Then the cycle starts…
We set our expectations, they don’t get met so we get disappointed, distance ourselves from that person or thing only to go through it again and again and again.
You would think we would learn, but we don’t.
And we go on thinking we’ve failed, or we aren’t good enough.
But that’s a whole new can of worms.
When the truth is the only person we should put our hope in is God.
He is the only person that will never disappoint us.
Romans 5:5-8 says, “and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (ESV)
Isn’t that awesome?
Christ gave his life for us, so we could have life.
He doesn’t shame us for not having it all together all the time.
He doesn’t shame me for not having a blog post ready because He provides me with the power and the words to write.
He pours out His love despite our failures, despite our disappointments and despite ourselves. His love is unconditional and should be the only thing we put our hope in.
So next time you set high expectations for someone and they don’t meet them offer them grace - because you were offered grace... then let those expectations go and remember they are doing the best they can.
#shereadstruth #letgo #befreeofexpectations #Romans5 #offergrace #bedeeplyrooted #divein #February2019 #gritandvirtue
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