The Comparison Struggle

We’ve all been there – envious of someone for something they have.

We want it, so much so that we find ourselves asking God, “Why her? Why him? Why not me?”

It happens.

One minute we are content in our day then – BAM, the comparison bug bites.

Most commonly it happens when we open social media and see all the things we don’t have – the ring, the boyfriend, the kids…the list goes on.

We try to fight it, but sooner or later it catches us and we find ourselves striving, wanting and doubting God’s goodness.

Trust me. I get it. It’s tough.

We see it from the beginning with sisters Rachel and Leah.

Could you even imagine?

Two sisters, one as we are told, beautiful and the other… not ugly, but not as gorgeous as the other.

One could have kids the other couldn’t. It goes on and on…

Then in walks a guy.

Of course, there’s always a guy…

Jacob. He loves Rachel, works seven years to obtain her hand in marriage, but Laban pulls the ole switcheroo and gives Leah to Jacob instead because she is older and the one that is supposed to be married off first.

Jacob is irate (he didn’t want Leah and was promised Rachel) and tells Laban he will work another seven years for the right girl.

Understandable, right?

I don’t know who to feel bad for in this situation.

Jacob just waited and worked seven years for an unfulfilled promise and Leah was unwanted and unloved.

And as of right now, I can’t feel bad for Rachel because she seems like the type of girl that got whatever she wanted as soon as she made eyes at someone.

But let’s put ourselves in Leah’s shoes for a minute.

Her sister comes home from drawing water flings herself on Leah’s bed, giddy still, to tell her all about a cute guy that kissed her and wants to marry her.

A little envious, I’m sure – Leah listens and offers her sister encouragement.

She’s supportive and only wants the best for her sister. And then her dad give her to Jacob instead.

Can you even imagine the internal struggle going on right now?

“He wanted my sister but was given me.” “Why, Lord? Why am I not good enough? What’s wrong with me?”

We are never told what was really going on in her head, so we can only assume. But isn’t it just like us to ask those kind of questions?

So often we see others getting what we desire – getting what we think we deserve, truth is – we don’t deserve any of it. It’s only by the grace of God that receive anything.

“But Rachel is the beautiful one and he doesn’t want me,” is what I think Leah would be thinking.

Moving forward we see Jacob working for another seven years to finally marry Rachel.

He gets what he wants but another storm is about to take place.

You see, Rachel couldn’t have kids but Leah could and she did.

Unfortunately, she thought having children would make Jacob love her, but it didn’t.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous and I know this very well.”

Where was this when Leah was feeling unloved? She was looking for Jacob to complete her and love her but she was already loved by the one who created her.

Leah, overlooked because she wasn’t as beautiful as her sister, struggled with comparison her entire life.

We think that way too don’t we? If only I were skinnier and my hair fell just right I would be loved.

We need to stop looking for affirmation from the world and start looking to the God who loves us and created us in His image.

The struggle between the sisters lasted for years – it was full of comparison, competition, envy, hurt and resentment.

Both looking for worth and love in all the wrong places.

But we do that too.

We compare and compete with fellow sisters and brothers until we are blue in the face.

We see a friend getting something we want and instead of being happy for them we plot and scheme and wonder why god forgot about us.

Friend, we are not forgotten.

“What is a human being that you remember him, a son of man that you look after him? You made him a little less than God and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over your works of your hands; and put everything under his feet,” Psalm 8: 4-6.

We are treasured – made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27) a reflection of who He is.

We are loved and chosen. And here’s the thing – we can compare ourselves to someone else all day long, but we are reminded in Proverbs that “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised (31:30).”

Comforting isn’t it?

Many of us who struggle with this bug can take comfort knowing that what looks good on the outside might not match the inside.

Charm is deceptive. Beauty is fleeting.

Check your heart – because it is not wise to compare ourselves (2 Corinthians 10:12).

When we are constantly finding fault in ourselves, we are finding fault in God.

Think about it and the next time you and the next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else remember that God makes no mistakes. You were created with a purpose, a promise and He will fulfill it. You aren’t behind or forgotten – you are right where you need to be.

“You are absolutely beautiful, my darling; there is no imperfection in you,” Song of Songs 4:7.